


Trembling

by ceruleyana



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Panic Attacks, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-25
Updated: 2020-06-25
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:01:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,496
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24908848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ceruleyana/pseuds/ceruleyana
Summary: After all the adrenaline has been washed away, Bilbo becomes overwhelmed.
Relationships: Bilbo Baggins/Thorin Oakenshield
Comments: 4
Kudos: 133





	Trembling

**Author's Note:**

> Because I've been having panic attacks lately and needed to write it down. Post-AUJ
> 
> Hope you enjoy this small piece of fiction!

The journey down from the top of the Carrock was long and arduous, filled with mutterings on just why they had to be dropped off by the eagles on such a ridiculous height. As they gradually ventured lower and lower from the rock formation, the mutterings had faded away due to utter exertion as they grappled and fumbled with the jutting formations. The adrenaline from the orc encounter and subsequent escape was fading, replaced with a bone-deep exhaustion.

Bilbo, one of the members of the Company furthest from the ground, contemplated idly whether he had traversed enough distance that the fall from that height will simply leave him gravely injured instead of instantly killed, and whether it was worth letting go. He was so deep in his thoughts that his footing had slipped. A faint echo in his head joked that he got what he wanted, but his hands had, thankfully gripped the stone underneath them, and so had his other foot, leaving the other dangling and scrambling for something to stand on.

He felt a large and calloused hand grasp at his ankle and lead his foot back towards the protruding rock. Bilbo glanced down to see Thorin looking back at him, expressionless but for the slightest bit of worry.

"You should watch your step, Master Baggins." Thorin raised his eyebrow at Bilbo and waited for him to nod in response before continuing his journey downward.

Bilbo felt warmth blossom on his face. Gone was the scorn and irritation that he had grown so used to during the quest. He wasn't sure where he stood with this new Thorin who just moments before smiled so brightly at him that he felt his breath get taken away. 

He shook his head and berated himself for having his head in the clouds just after almost falling to his death.

'Concentrate! You can think about... him later.'

Bilbo finally let go and fell to his knees on the ground that he had sorely missed. Being the last of the Company to reach the ground, he looked up to see that camp had already been set up with the few amount of supplies that they still had. Fili, Kili, and Ori had gone off to hunt their lunch, while the rest of the Company, bereft of the youth that the three dwarves had, had sat down to rest with their respective families. Bilbo spotted Bofur leaning against a tree, already snoring loudly with his hat tipped to block out the glaring sun.

Despite the calm that had set within the camp, Bilbo felt uncomfortably restless. He could feel his hands fidgeting on his lap. There was a need to clean the filth that covered him, so strong that he found that the ache that he felt all over his body had dulled. Luckily, his ears had picked up the slow stream of water coming from a short distance from the camp. He got up from the foot of the Carrock where he had collapsed, and started walking towards the sound of a river running.

Blue eyes followed his retreating form.

Having stripped of all clothing except for his smallclothes, Bilbo began to sink his whole body into the shallow part of the river that he had found, glad to feel the cool water on his bruised skin. He began to scrub frantically at the blood on his skin, both his own and not. He knew he should be careful, but the feeling of uncleanliness was too overwhelming, and he needed to get rid of it badly. His skin, mottled with purple bruises from the fall at the goblin caves was starting to become red in some places. He felt the pinprick of tears on his eyes from his frustration.

He looked at his hands, red and littered with small cuts. They were trembling.

"Master Baggins..."

Bilbo turned around from where he sat. Thorin was there, holding a bar of soap.

"I thought you might need this." Thorin was decidedly not looking at Bilbo, opting to look at the water beside him.

"Ah." Bilbo hid his hands in the water. "Thank you, Thorin."

There were a few moments of silence, both parties refusing to directly look at each other. 

"Um, Thorin? The soap?" Part of Bilbo wish that Thorin would just go away, if only to save himself from embarrassment. He wanted no one to see him at his current state. Whether it was from his nakedness or his trembling, he was no longer sure.

"Ah, yes." Bilbo belatedly noticed that Thorin's ears were slightly pink as he edged closer to where Bilbo was. Thorin then outstretched his hand that had the soap, still refusing to look at Bilbo.

And so, Bilbo realized that he would have to resurface his hand to take the soap, which made him want to sink further into the water. Hoping that his hands remained steady, he reached out to Thorin to take the soap. 

By the sudden look of concern on Thorin's face, he guessed that they visibly shook as much as they felt they did.

"Your hands..." Thorin took his hands in his own, dropping the bar of soap to the side. He caressed them lightly, taking care to avoid deepening any of the cuts that were there. Bilbo's hands continue to tremble, but at Thorin's touch, began to lessen.

Bilbo felt shame fill his body. He had just gotten to Thorin's good graces, and now he showed himself to be weak once again. He gritted his teeth and closed his eyes, wishing the trembling would stop, but as darkness flooded his vision, it was quickly replaced with visions of orcs and that dreaded creature in the caves. 

Everything had slowed down - the sound of running water, the chirping of birds, even the startled screams of Thorin calling out his name. This flight of panic was different from the one he had in Bag End, which seemed so far away. This felt as scalding as the fire that had previously surrounded them. Among those visions, he saw Thorin's unmoving body, and somehow, he knew deep in his heart that this was what frightened him the most.

Unlike in Bag End, he didn't faint. Part of him wishes he did, if only for the pain in his chest to stop.

Bilbo slowly became aware of his surroundings as his breathing finally slowed down. The first thing that he noticed was something heavy and warm covering his whole body. The second thing was deep blue eyes looking into his.

As his vision started to come back to him, he looked down and saw that what covered his naked body was Thorin's coat. He stared at the furs, trying to collect his bearings.

"Feeling better?" Thorin's voice felt like an anchor to reality, and Bilbo looked up, fearing that there might once again be disdain to be found only to be met with worry.

'It seems this is the look that I will have to get used to', he thought, frustrated at himself.

"It seems you were still right to doubt me. I can't help but be a burden, I suppose." Bilbo muttered.

"Hardly." Thorin shook his head, wincing at the slight movement. "You have just come out of a battle, with scars to show for it. It is not a weakness nor is it a thing to be ashamed of."

"I suppose I just wish I could handle this... better. With less trembling." 

Thorin had a small smile upon hearing that. "Believe me, Master Baggins. If you had reacted differently, I would've been more worried for your sanity. You are new to this life. I had failed to account for that. I won't do so in the future."

"Bilbo." Thorin blinked at the insistence in Bilbo's tone.

"Call me Bilbo. You already saw me mostly naked. It only seems fair." Bringing it up, Bilbo suddenly felt more awkward in his situation, never having joined the Company in their communal baths and realizing that Thorin did, in fact, see him half-naked.

Thorin huffed a small laugh, the pink in his ears returning. "Bilbo." 

Bilbo smiled upon hearing his name from Thorin's lips. "Thank you. For..." He waved his hand at Thorin, who understood the meaning.

"You are very welcome... Bilbo." Hearing Thorin say his name made something in his chest flutter, which he ignored. They had just very recently gotten on good terms. It would not do to push his luck, no matter him being the so-called lucky number.

Thorin left him by the riverside to get dressed, and Bilbo watched him go. Putting on his clothes, he realized that Thorin had left his coat behind. Whether it was intentional or not, Bilbo couldn't begin to guess, but he picked it up and put it on himself, catching the scent of what was undeniably Thorin in his mind.

It didn't compare to the hug that he got on the Carrock, but it was a close thing.


End file.
